The Divergent Camp
by Abloodprincess
Summary: Sometimes life doesn't give you a choice and there you have to create your. Tris is stuck in the divergent camp where she has to learn to fight to face what lies ahead but to add to it she has to choose between the two 'love of her life', who apparently hate each other (obviously)but have both broken her hearts before. lots of drama and fluff! New character, a bit OOC. Please read!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I have been thinking of this story for more than a year now and have decided to put it into words. I had this as a dream and I have all the chapters planned out. Summary explains most of it but I promise if anything gets confusing (which probably will considering my awful writing style) I will do my best and explain in the A/N's. :) suggestions are always welcome and I hope you like it. **

"If they love you to death, never die on them"

- Drake

* * *

Love. It's beautiful but it does have it's consequences. Some times it's like a curse. Well not exactly like a curse curse. Curse like the difficulties faced by the people in a relationship with someone whom you know is the one.

I am broke. Completely broke and I can't be mended.

Things like wind blowing when you look at him, the moon being larger than usual, the happily ever after's all seem real when you fall for him. But it's not true. Life is not a fairy tale. Happily ever after's are not real.

—Flashback—

Tobias. I just love him so much. But sometimes it hurts. Love hurts, it's not easy to be in love they say!

We have been together since such a long time and we are now inseparable and I want us to be like this forever. Tobias is so loving and caring towards me that I know that there's nothing in this whole wide world that I want more than Tobias!

We'll be together forever and I believe this with all my heart. I was never this girly but that was before I met him. After meeting him, I discovered a whole new me which was hidden somewhere deep down.

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of our eternal love! Tobias has made me so lovey dovey and mushy now that sometimes I laugh on myself. Anyway... I'm so excited about today's anniversary party. We're not married or anything- though I want that to happen pretty soon!- it just marks the day we confessed our love for each other.

I'm in my room in my apartment-which is in Chicago- with Marlene and Christina getting ready for the big night and honestly... I'm nervous. I shouldn't be but for some reason I am. To be honest it's because Tobias has been acting weird since the last week or so. I've talked to Christine about it too but she says that it might be because of it's work or maybe some financial problems but if it had been so then I'm sure Tobias would have told me. Tobias works in a big company which deals with security cameras and stuff. Fun, right? It earns him good amount of money, can be said he's wealthy.

I have never been interested in his work and also his choice of interest, but I totally respect it and have no complains! As for me, I work in the tattoo parlour. I love art, it's the only way I lose myself and become something else, away from the world and worries. I let out all my feelings in those lines and express my self in them. Tobias finds it amazing, while for me it's magical.

Working in the parlour earns me good, mainly because it's a worldwide famous tattoo parlour, receives a lot of customers and also me being the head manager. And I work under this wonderful person Tori. She's amazing and very generous and extremely caring.

I just love my life here and can't ask for more!

I take a deep breath and sigh, for two reasons. One because I'm worried about Tobias and second, because I'm being attacked with makeup and curlers and what not by Marlene and Christina. It's been approximately 30 minutes since they have been working on me and I haven't even worn my dress yet. Ugh!

"Tris can you just hold for 2 more minutes. We are almost done now." Marlene says irritated by my whining every now and then.

"You're saying that to me for the forth time now Marlene!" I snap back. "And I haven't seen myself in the Mirror too!"

"Stop whining Tris. We are doing this for you only. And for Four too" says Christina. She winks my way. "Almost done! Just the final touches now!" She exclaims. I swear I will kill her if she speaks in her high pitched voice again!

She steps back a bit and so does Marlene to take a final look at me. "Can I see myself in the mirror now!" I ask.

Marlene laughs while Christina shakes her head. She must have seen the confusion written on my face because she laughs and speaks up the explanation "First you have to wear the dress and then you can have an overall look on yourself!" I roll my eyes and take the red dress, bought by my super friends, that Marlene hands out to me. Well At least there's a mirror in the bathroom.

I lock my self in the bathroom and strip. I put the dress over my head and down but meanwhile I also try not to look in the Mirror, well because I want to surprise myself too. I chuckle at my stupidness but Christina does things to you. After finishing up with my dress I take a deep breath and turn around.

My breath hitches when I see the girl in front of me. I look so different from my normal self. I look pretty, actually very pretty. Christina and Marlene gave me smoky eyes, light red lips and perfect amount of mascara and other stuff that I can't name really, I'm not into these things at all. My red dress reaches just above my knee and perfectly fits my body. It has black laces over it and a small wavy effect on the bottom. It is a sort of a tube and shows very little amount of cleavage and shows off all the curves I have, well it shows off a lot a skin too. I feel a bit uncomfortable but decide to push the feeling away because it's just for one night and it's for Tobias, my Tobias. Oh God I'm being too girly.

My hair are curled up into a bun with perfect amount of messiness and some ringlets around that frame my face. Maybe this is all too much?

I take a deep breath and turn the door nob and step out. Christina and Marlene stop messing around my room and turn around. Christina is wearing a tight greenish blue dress with high heels and her hair flows down her shoulder with perfect curls and Marlene is wearing a plain white dress with some red curly frills on the edges and her hair is pulled pack into a high messy pony tail They both look so pretty! Christina squeals and Marlene gasps when they look at me.

"You look beautiful Tris! Four will drool over you" Christina screams so loud that I have to cover my ears at some point. I just giggle and thank her.

"I think I'm gonna cry, Tris" Marlene says and wipes away a fake tear. I laugh again at her and give them both a small hug.

"Thank you both so much for this. You both look so pretty! And I would have never been able to do this without you!" I say to both of them and they just proudly nod.

"We know, Tris." Marlene says in a jokingly proud tone. I chuckle and decide to let it go.

"Okay wear these now" Christina hands a pair of dark red coloured high heeled sandals with ankle straps. No way I'm gonna put these on.

"Christina. I'm not wearing these. Just too much" I say but she whines and pouts.

"Please Tris! Just for one night." Marlene says and Christina nods along. I sigh and give in. I put on the heels and try to stand up, I lose my balance a bit but achieve in maintaining it after some time.

"We're ready! Let's go,shall we?" Christina says excitedly. Marlene loops her arm with mind and says "We shall" I laugh along with them and step out of my room.

I won't call myself rich but I'm wealthy enough to buy a good apartment in a very well protected building which has 2 bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen and a dining. I've decorated it and moved in the furniture according to my liking and I love it here! I couldn't ask for more. I am truly grateful for what I have. My family lives in California. My parents are rich mainly because my father is a government official and my mom is a famous doctor there. My parents are very selfless and sometimes I wish I could be too but then I'm dauntless at the same time. That's what we call ourselves, me and my group. I don't know how but we came up with this term last year, actually Uriah and Zeke did. Anyway, my brothers lives in India with his wife Susan and works in a company that's dealing with cancer stuff. He's my genius nerd erudite brother! We visit each other often and share our times in our place, so I would say we all are close!

We reach the parking lot and decide to ride in my ML 63 and set off for the place where the bookings are done. All I know is that it's a beachfront hotel where they have booked the area near to the beach. Tobias and others did it because I love beaches and so does Tobias.

I sing along to the song 'Little me' which blares from the stereo and am soon joined by all the girls and by the time, after all the confusing directions and wrong turns, we reach the destination and we're all giggling and laughing. "Okay girls. This is it! Let's go" Christina shouts. We compose ourselves and move out.

The place is beautifully decorated! It takes my breath away as soon as I enter the place. There are balloons and lights and flowers, but the thing that impresses me the most are the pictures of the special memories of me and Tobias together hanging on a rope that's attached to the trees around the small beach. There are couches and tables around to sit, a bar and the best part is the sound of the water from the beach along with some soft smooth instrumental music playing. The place isn't too much and it's not too dull either, it's the best mix of everything put together for our party!

Uriah comes and gives me a bear hug while congratulating, the only matter is that it's just too tight. "Uriah—Breathe—can't" I manage to speak out, he just laughs and releases me. I laugh too and hug the others who congratulate. It's not a big bash, just me, Christina, Marlene, Shauna, Zeke, Uriah, Lynn and of course Tobias. Some other close people we know from our work will join us soon too but not much. Speaking of Tobias, I can't see him anywhere. Has he even come? No what am I thinking. Of course he has. He has to.

Just then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and find him there, in front of me smiling, a real genuine smile. He had his mouth slightly open as he examines me, I'll take that as good? I smile hugely at him when his eyes meet mine and put my hands around his neck and lean in to kiss him before he says anything. We stay like this for a few minutes and I feel him smiling as his lips brush mine. I pull back to release him and stand there with my hands still around him. I come back in my senses as everyone around me cheers and hoots. I blush and look down with a smile and Tobias chuckles whilst snaking his hands around my waist tightly.

"Happy 3rd anniversary, Tris. You look so beautiful, I almost fainted." he whispers in my ear and I feel chills. I blush hard, even if I get loads of compliments from him everyday since 3 years so I smile and give him a quick peck.

"Happy anniversary, Tobias." I say. I look directly into his dark blue beautiful eyes. "I love you." I say to him, with all honestly and love I can manage to show.

"I love you more" he says in a voice only audible to me.

I grin and kiss him for the last time before releasing him to go to others.

We reach where they are standing and get engrossed in whatever they're talking about. I meet a couple more invited people, thanking for their Congratulations and presence and blah blah, trying to put the attention away from me.

Thank god for my friends who understand me because they get them all interested in some talks which I don't get. I tune out from the conversation because I don't have interest in half of the things they're discussing. They talk about cars, new rockstars of Chicago, the latest trends and animals. Why are they discussing animals.

"I'm telling you Zeke. A zebra is black with white stripes" Uriah says in a decisive voice.

"Not! You don't know anything about anything brother. Zebras are white with black stripes." Zeke shoots back. Shauna and Marlene hit their boyfriends on their hand in sync and Everyone laughs.

"Grow up you guys" Shauna says. I just roll my eyes playfully and focus on Tobias sitting beside me. Everyone here is either dancing, drinking or talking but he's the only one lost in a deep thought. I nudge him on his side. He looks startled before looking at me but recovers soon and smiles at me, lovingly.

"Should I bring you a drink, tris" he says in a perfect British accent. I chuckle and show him the untouched wine glass in my hand. He grins and says "I guess you don't need it yet"

"No, all I want right now is you" I say slyly. He smirks his signature smirk which makes my heart flutter and folds his hand in mine. He looks deep in my eyes and I think we stay like this for a long time because I hear some throats clearing from beside.

"You guys done there?" Asks will. I just blush and look down and I feel Tobias chuckling. "Because we have a cake". Christina shouts and everyone around cheers.

"A cake?" I ask surprised. I didn't know we have a cake. What I expected was a small party actually, but I guess idea of small is different for my friends here.

"Yes Tris, a cake! Did you really think we would have let you go without a cake!" Lynn says in an obvious tone.

"And it's a dauntless chocolate cake!" Shouts Uriah. I smile at that and Tobias laughs. We all love a dauntless chocolate cake, which apparently can only be found in the dauntless bakery in our street and it's the most delicious cake I've ever eaten! Coincidently all of us live on the same street. We have our apartments in sort of a row, it's cool actually but sometimes it gets annoying too considering the fact that we bump into each other quite often, where often means at least 15 times in a day.

"Hey blow out the candles now! And Cut the cake with this." Squeals Christina and hands us a knife. I take the knife in my hand and twirl it. It is decorated with red ribbons, it looks good and it has a big T in the middle. I smile at it and look over Christina and she winks at me. I hand over the knife to Tobias for him to look at it and meanwhile mouth a Thankyou to her and look over Tobias who has the same expression as mine. We together hold the knife in our hands and look at each other. Our hands brush together and Tobias leans closer to me.

"Together" he whispers and I smile, a loving smile. And turn around to blow the candles that are now burning on top of the cake which is brownish in colour and has red flowers around the boundary and a blue ribbon, which is the sugar thing, covers the cake and meets the middle forming a beautiful flower having red sparkles on it. A huge heart is fixed on it on which "Our love will never die" is written with perfection.

I look over at Tobias who's grinning. "It's beautiful" I say with the amazement clear in my voice. He plants a kiss on head and says "I'm glad to you liked it"

"Enough with the love already! Cut the cake, I'm starving" Uriah whines. Everyone laughs.

"Together" I say back to Tobias and we blow the candles at the same times and start to cut the cake when we wear a loud "stop" from Christina. She takes out her phone and gives a thumbs up to us. I see many other people take out their cameras and phone too. Tobias chuckles and I roll my eyes playfully while all others just grin except Uriah who looks like he can kill Chris right now.

Finally we cut the cake and everyone around cheers and hoots. I smile hugely, so does everyone around. "Happy anniversary, Tobias" I say again to him and he says an "I love you and forever will" as a reply to which I just kiss him with all the passion. I feel him smiling as the girl says aww's and and boys shouting "get a room" I laugh too and pull back a little so that my forehead connects with his.

We all eat the cake and the food. Have drinks and dance till our feet give up. In my case I'm pretty sure my feet are swollen thanks to my heels. I remove them though, after giving up the fact I can wear them.

Everyone starts filing out after saying a last congratulations as the clock strikes 3 am in the morning and it's just our group left. Everyone's pretty drunk considering the fact that everyone's tipping over and giggling and making stupid jokes while me and Tobias are not that drunk yet. I'm still in my senses, just a little giggly. Tobias is... Well he's still him.

I take Tobias' hand and take him away towards the beach. Tobias snakes his hand on my waist and I do the same while the other hand holds the heels. I play with the water as i go, giggling every now and then. I look at Tobias to see he's deep in a thought and by the looks of it I don't think it's a pretty one! What he might be thinking of I wonder. Hmm maybe unicorns. I wonder where unicorns live. Huh. I'll research on that. That's a wonderful thought. Wonderful. There's so much wonder in our world. Wait what am I thinking? I giggle at my self and look at Tobias again. He's still stuck in a deep thought. The darkness makes it hard for me to look at his face clearly and my vision is gettin blurry too. Maybe I'm sleepy. Sleepy. It's a weird word. Sleeeepy.

No wait, I was looking at the serious Tobias, focus Tris. Don't let the drink get to you. Sober up!

Tobias is still thinking something. His thinking is bothering me now. He hasn't looked at me since the last.. Wait how long have we been walking? I'm surprised the beach isn't finished yet. His grip on me is hard and I know what he's thinking about is serious because I can sense the stiffness in him. Their are lanterns around but they don't give enough light to make me see him better.

"Tobias" I say quietly but he doesn't respond. I take his name again, louder this time but he doesn't respond again.I come to a sudden halt which makes me tumble over, well because Tobias grip on my waist is strong and he was still walking. But Tobias catches me before I fall down on the sand.

He looks surprised with my sudden stop and raises his eyebrow at me. I raise my eyebrow too."Okay, let me be the mature one. What happened" he says. I just roll my eyes at him. "You tell me, Tobias. What's wrong?" I ask him.

He just smiles and says "everything is alright." He holds his hand up to brush my hair back but I just swat his hand away. He looks shocked and hurt but recovers quickly and puts his hand in his pocket.

"Don't lie to me Tobias" I slur but manage to say It a bit sternly. I hope I did sound stern "I know you're hiding something. You've been acting like this since the last three months "

He looks away for a moment before looking back at me. He looks deeply in to me, I stare back with a look that says "tell me" he just sighs and shakes his head.

"We'll talk about this later, Tris" he says softly, which melts my stern look "I promise we will when the time comes. Okay?"

I know I can't force him so I just give up and say a weak "okay"He leans down and gives me a long lingering kiss on my forehead, and that's the last thing I remember about the night before everything blacks out.

* * *

**Author's note: Okay yes the flashback will go on for a few chapters but I will clear the plot more in next chapters. Review and tell if I should continue? Thankyou so much for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and favourites. This chapter was actually very difficult for me and you will come to know why after reading this. The new character has almost been introduced and the flashback is till going on! Enjoy the chapter :)**

I wake up hearing someone playing drums close to my ears. Why would anyone play drums so early in the morning. I moan and stir but the banging pain in my head causes me to flinch. I groan again and try to open my eyes though I want to sleep more but First I need to beat the shit out of the person who's playing these drums.

I try to open my eyes but squint them shut when the bright light stings them. That's when I realise there wasn't anyone playing drums, that was my head. Must be the hangover from the night yesterday. Memories start flooding back but it also causes sharp pain in my head so I clear my head for now. I try to open my eyes again, slower this time and look around. At first I'm confused because it isn't my home.

I look around more and realise it's Tobias' apartment and I'm in his room, on his bed, in his sheets. The only thing missing here is Tobias himself. He must be downstairs making something for breakfast.

His apartment has two floors. On the lower floor there is the kitchen, the guest room, the dining and living room, two guest bathrooms and the floor has a balcony too which has a sea view. On the upper floor there is his room, a gaming area—that has his video games like Play stations and X box and computers and all that stuff, where me and Tobias mostly are when here—and also Tobias' room has a balcony too which had the same sea view. When I came here first I asked Tobias if I could decorate these balconies because they looked pretty dull earlier, but now there are flowers and hangings around. Thanks to me!

His room has a king sized bed, a black and grey coloured study table, a closet, some drawers and some posters of linkin park and imagine dragons. I and Tobias have the same taste in music... Almost.

I look down at myself and realise I'm in the same clothes as yesterday and my hair is probably a mess right now. I get up and push myself from the comfort of the cozy bed but I feel a bile rising in my throat and make a run for the bathroom. I throw up in the toilet, continue till there's nothing left in my stomach. I hate this so much. I sit back, my back to the wall and try to calm myself down. I make a mental note to myself about not getting drunk any time sooner. I don't get drunk too often, actually I rarely ever drink, which explains my uneasiness.

I stand up and recover myself. I look at myself in the mirror. I look like someone who hasn't slept and eaten in days. My eyes are all puffy and my hair is standing in so many directions that I loose count. Why am I so messed up? I don't remember doing a hula dance before sleeping. Oh wait, I don't remember anything. Great.

I splash some water on my face, get a shower, use a spare toothbrush that Tobias always keeps for emergencies, well this is an emergency. I hate how the dress has messed up, I really liked it. It's not spoiled but it will surely need a good cleaning before it looks presentable again. As I don't have any spare clothes with me and I can't wear Tobias' clothes because I need to go home so I have to wear the dress. I don't mind. But the heels, they kill me. Speaking of them, where the hell are they?

Oh damn it, I took them off and I don't remember wearing them on before... Blacking out? I hope there are somewhere here, I need to return them to Chris.

I make a beeline to the kitchen after I'm satisfied with my looks. I walk in and see that Tobias isn't here. But wait, there's a note. Let's see. I open it up without any hesitation since it has my name on it and I recognise Tobias' writing. I can see Tobias was in a rush while writing this because it's more scribbled than written.

"Sorry, Tris. I had to leave for an important meeting this morning. Pancakes are in the stove which I want you to eat before taking the medicine that I kept on the table next to the TV for your headache and also your heels are near the table where the med is.

Tobias

P.S. I love you "

I smile at the note and keep it back on the counter, writing "I love you too" on it's back side with the pen that was kept next to it. I gobble down the pancakes and take the medicine and wear my heels back on. Ugh how much I hate these sandals.

I walk out the apartment with the spare key that Tobias gave me long time back. But then I realise, I don't have a car. I left it at the hotel. I curse and decide to walk. My house is only a few steps away so it's not really a problem but I'll have to pick up my car soon from the hotel.

Tobias, i think, won't be free before noon and others might still be going through a hangover.

As if on cue I hear my phone blaring 'radioactive'. The caller ID reads 'Christina' so I pick up after a few seconds.

"Hey Tris" she says in a not so Christina way. Something's wrong.

"Hey Chris. What's up?" I say

"Can we meet at Starbucks right now. I need to talk to you." She replies and she seems serious. She's never like this which means it's something big. I can't help but feel worried.

"Sure, why not. But can you pick me up. I left my car in the hotel last night."

"Yeah no problem. We'll have coffee and then we can go pick your car up. So should I pick you up from Tobias' house?"

"How-"

"I know you too well, Trissy" she cuts me off. I chuckle and say "mine" and end the call.

I realise by the time I ended the call I've reached my apartment. My apartment is voice control so I say a simple "open" and the door cracks open. But I've given Tobias a key in case of any emergency.

I go to my closet and wear a purple tank top with loose shrug and denim shorts since it's hot outside, quite unusual as the last few days had been rather pleasant. I apply some light make up, just a tad of mascara and a gloss. I take my phone and my sling, I go to elevator and when I reach the ground floor and just stand there and wait for Christina to come.

I run as soon as I see her SUV but being the clumsy person I am I bump into someone, a boy who must be around my age. I murmur a sorry at the same time he does. I get up and look at him, at his eyes to be more specific but then I walk towards her suv shaking my head. I can't help but think about the feeling I just got. An odd flutter in my heart as I looked Into his green eyes. I can still feel his eyes on me as I walk towards Christina but I just shrug. Must be my imagination.

I sit inside and slam the door shut behind me. With some courage that I mustered up suddenly from nowhere, I look outside to see wether he's still there. And he is. And he's still staring.

I look down again but look up and see him, looking back at me.

He's handsome, I'll give him that. Probably a player who has girls all over him at all times. He has blonde hair, strong muscular build, but the only thing that mesmerises me is his green dreamy eyes. I feel another flutter in my stomach as I realise we have been staring at each other for quite a long time now. I shy away before this gets too awkward, I don't even know why I stared back. Stupid stupid Stupid.

I look over at Christina to see what's taking her so long! And there she is, typical Christina who's still styling her hair in the rear view mirror.

"Ahem" I clear my throat and say "can we go now Chris?"

She stops and looks at me and gives me an apologetic smile. I just roll my eyes playfully and shake my head. The engine starts and just before we are about to leave the premises I, not being able to control myself, look back at him. I am surprised to still find him there, looking back at me with a small smile. I shake my head thinking it was just my imagination, which I clearly know wasn't.

What did just happen?

-page break-

"A caramel mocha, please." I say to the girl behind the counter and tell her my name when she asks. She smiles at me and walks away. I go back to Chris who's sitting alone at the table next to the window and sit down across her. When she looks at me I recognise the nervousness in her eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want anything" I ask but she just shakes her head. I drop it there because I know how stubborn she is. "Tell me" I say softly.

I see her bracing herself to say something, she's nervous which worries me because she isn't like this most of time. Wait scratch that, she's never like this.

She takes a deep breath before saying "I'm pregnant" I open my mouth but words don't come. Honestly, I don't know how to react, I'm happy and shocked at the same time. She hasn't looked at me this whole time and I can see she's scared.

"How long have you known?" I ask, trying to be as smooth as possible.

"This morning and no, I haven't told anyone yet" she says back, answering my other question which I haven't even asked. I'm happy she told me as soon as she knew but then Will should be the one to know first since he's the father. I hope he is.

"It's Will's, right?" I say with a hint of smile. She blushes and grins and says an obvious "yes" to me. I grin back.

"I'm really happy for you Chris" I really am. "I get to be an aunt" I say more cheerily. She gives a light laugh and nods slightly.

Someone calls out my name and I go to the counter to collect my drink. I take a small sip before sitting down. After what feels like a forever, Christina speaks up again.

"I'm scared" she whispers. I know how it feels to be scared but I don't know what kind of scared Chris is. But I know that she wants that baby and I also know that she and Will both will be great parents.

"I know it'll be difficult Chrissy" I say "but we both know you want this baby, and you'll be a great mother. You are ready! Believe me. And as far as I know Will, he'll be a great father too. You just have to talk to him and everything will be alright." I realise by now that we are the only two left in the shop, thank god for that. I am also curious as to why Chris called me here and talked about this and not at her place or mine.

Chris swipes away her tears and gives me the best possible smile she can manage and I give her a huge one in return. "You're right. I will go straight to his house after we pick up your car. Thank you so much, Tris. I didn't know what to do and only one I could talk to was you" she says, more relived than before.

"That's what best friends are for" I wink at her and finish up the rest of my drink and get up to leave. We walk to the car with our arms looped and laughing all the way. I'm glad I made her happy. I am actually very excited about the baby. Christina has become the sister I always wanted and a best friend i can't trust. Marlene, Shauna and Lynn are my best friends too but I don't reveal most of my secrets to them, but Chris knows everything about me, except the things that are private to me and Tobias.

We drive our way to the hotel and reach sooner than before, as we know the right directions. I chuckle remembering last night's events but I still can't remember a few things before I blacked out. I only remember him being deep in a thought.

We get out of her Mazda CX 9 and walk towards my car. When we reach I turn to face her. She gives me a small smile but I pull her into a long tight hug. I feel her smiling and I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face too. "It'll all be great, believe me" I say reassuringly and firmly. I feel her nodding so I pull back. I wish her luck as she walks back to her car and I walk towards mine.

Driving home doesn't sound bad but I don't want to go home right now. Since it's Saturday and I don't have work, I have the whole day to myself. But I don't want to be alone either.

What are my options? I can call Shauna or Marlene or both for that matter and go for shopping. No I'm too tired for that. I can call Uriah and others and go for paintball, but Chris and Will need time for themselves. Or I can call Tobias since it's almost noon and ask him what to do. I weigh all my options and think the last one is probably is the best. I need to talk to him too.

I pull up the car near the petrol pump and call him. He picks the call after three rings and says a hello.

"Hey" I say back rather cheerfully. "Where are you?"

"I'm on my way to my house actually but" he pauses, as if thinking something... Again.

"Everything alright?" I ask.

"Yeah I just... I need to talk to you"

"Okay" I say stretching out the word okay "what Do you want to talk about?"

"I'll tell you when we meet, I can't tell you like this"

"Fine then I'll come to your place and we can talk" I say, getting more and more worried and nervous by the second.

"No don't come over, let's meet at the Central Park bridge at 4?" I don't know why but something inside me deflates when he says this but anyhow I still manage an okay. I know whatever it is we'll sort it out together. It can't be so bad. We love each other and I know Tobias won't ever hurt me.

But also he has never behaved like this before, ever and even though I don't want it, I have a feeling that whatever it might be, it's bad for both of us. Something that might ruin our relationship. Ugh I don't want this. Before can say something else I realise the call has ended and my phone is near my ear blaring a beep. This hurts me more. Tobias has never ended a call like.

No I'm thinking too much. Must be the headache that I still have. I pull back my car and drive my way to home. When I reach I throw everything on the couch and go for a shower. It's around 2 pm so I decide to have a quick lunch from Panda Express after shower and then walk my way to the park. Panda Express isn't too far for walking and neither is the park so it's perfect and I won't have to get bored too waiting for the clock to strike 4. I come out of the shower with the towel wrapped around me and settle on a simple white sun dress and flats.

I dress up quickly and apply some light makeup. I pick up my phone and make my way to grab my food. I enter the shop, order, pay and leave after finishing my meal. The park from here is only 10 minutes away and it's already 3:45. I'll be either early or on time. I don't mind either way.

When I reach the park, I go for the bridge that is almost at the end corner of the park. The bridge is very beautiful actually, decorated with white flowers, has a lamp in the corner and there's this pretty lake that flows underneath it. Also luckily many people don't go there since it's in the corner of the park and people usually come here to walk or jog.

When I reach the bridge I see him there. He's leaving on the bridge's railing, looking down at the water. I reach behind him making sure he doesn't see me and wrap my hands around his waist. He gets stiff for a moment but softens when he realises it's me. He kisses my hand and turns around to look at me, smiling. I smile too, kind of relived by his actions.

"What do wanted to talk about?" I ask softly.

"Yeah about that" he scratches the back of his head and his face grows serious. And that's how I know that this is going to be bad. He untangles me from himself. He must see the hurt on my face because he cups my cheeks in hands and pulls me in for a hungry yet passionate kiss. It goes on for quite some time but before we could deepen it, I pull back slightly.

"Not the right place, Tobias" I say, grinning. He smiles slightly and steps back a little so that he is now leaning on the railing with me on top of him.

"There's .. Umm.. There's something I need to say to you" he finally says. I give him a nod, urging him to continue.

He looks straight into my eyes. All I see in his deep oceanic blue eyes is worry, love and pain. No matter how hard he tries, he can't hide from me and I know there's something about me, us, that's bothering him and I get more worried at this.

"I'm breaking up with you, Tris" his voice breaks a little as he said the words that are my worst nightmare.

I go numb. Did he really just say this? No. He loves me and I know that. These are the words I never wanted to hear. These words can bring my whole world down in just seconds. I don't know how to react. I feel like crying and throwing. Doing something but instead I just laugh hysterically.

"You're joking, Tobias. Right?" I say while the tears form up in my eyes. I shake him, telling him to tell me it's not true. He's on verge of crying too. I don't understand.

"Tris I-"

"No" I shout. "No you can't leave me! Tobias you can't do this"

He shakes his head and we are both crying. I don't care if people see us or not but I'm crying uncontrollably now. I know he's not joking. He never cries. This only breaks me more. He's serious but he's not happy about it and I don't understand. I'm breaking into a million pieces.

"We love.. Each other" i say in between sobs. By this point we are holding up each other and I clutching him so hard, afraid that if I let go I'll lose him forever.

"I'm doing this for us, Tris. You have to understand." He says more firmly now. "We can't be together"

I don't have words and I can't control the tears that come out. He's leaving me. The only thing I love the most in this whole world. I can't lose him. Losing him will be like losing everything including my life and myself.

He starts to pull away but it only makes me hold him more closer. "Please" he says again.

"I love you" I say, crying even more.

He puts his hand around my cheeks and pulls me closer. He's crying as much as I am.

"I hate to see you like this, tris. I love you, so much so Please. Please don't make this more harder for me. Please" he says, our tears get mixed up. I don't understand. This isn't making any sense. I can't think straight. All I know is that I can't lose him, I can't afford to even think like that.

I shake my head violently, as much hard I try the words don't come. "We'll figure something Tobias. We always do" my voice breaks as I manage to pull the words out but fail as my sobs get louder. He does what I didn't expect and kisses me with such force that I almost fall. I fold my hands around him and pull him closer, if that's even possible. We're still crying and our tears mix with our kisses. He pulls back and kisses my tears.

"I love you, Tris and forever will" he says more firmly and gets up. My hands drop and my muscles don't move, only the tears come as I see him walk away. Walking away from me and my life. If he loves me, why is he leaving me. Why? I cry harder and let the tears fall. I can't keep this inside me so I let it all out till my eyes dry. When the tears don't come I get up, slowly. My eyes still have some tears flowing down and my throat is parched.

I run. As fast as I can. As far as my legs take me. I run till I'm out of breath.

When I finally catch my breath I realise I'm nowhere near the city but in the woods. I fall on my knees and on the ground. My eyes feel heavy and so does my body. It feels as if my brain stopped working and everything around me blurs.

The only thing I can think of is that I love Tobias. And I lost him.

**Author's note: PM me if you want to suggest or talk about the story or just want to chat :) I'm all ears. Please review! Your reviews will make my day. Thanks for reading**.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I Do not own divergent and any character here but the wonderful author Veronica Roth does! **

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It's been a year since it happened. A year has passed by and I still haven't come out of my shell. Tobias hasn't talked to me since then and honestly, I did expect him to come back to me since I could still see the love and longing in his eyes when ever I saw him, which actually wasn't too often. And he didn't even tell me why he broke up with me but just that he did it to keep me safe. I still don't understand.

It infuriates me when I think of him and his reasons. He didn't care to explain me this. Even though I want to hate him and ignore him, I can't stop loving him. Whenever I see him, which is rare since I haven't gone out with my friends much, I feel that twinge of pain in my heart which breaks me every time.

It's difficult for me to go out because I know he'll be there and I can't face him. It's like I don't know him anymore now, though I know everything about him. But there's only one thing I'm positive about right now and it's that he's not over it too. I know he still feels the same way about me. I just don't know why the hell he has to put both of us through this.

Sometimes I feel as if he's just playing me with me, testing me and I keep waiting for him to burst in through my doors and tell me it was all a joke. But he never comes and it's too late now. It won't happen. He won't come now. I'm sure of that.

I tried to talk to him, ask him to give me some answers, anything. He refuses every time and it kills me. He's putting me through this torture to protect me from something that he can't tell me. I feel as if it was his way to push me away, maybe he didn't want to tell me directly that he doesn't want to be with me anymore but why after so many years when we were so happy. I thought we were perfect, but I guess nothing is really perfect. I should have known.

I stare up at the ceiling, counting as the seconds go by before the sun rises. This is how my days go now, sleepless nights, sometimes nights with nightmares. I get up at 7 am from the bed, do the necessities and leave for work. Have lunch there and reach home by 5 pm. I jog or walk around the colony till it's 6 pm and leave for dinner. I sleep by 9 and again the cycle starts. During weekends I visit Christina and her daughter, June. She's beautiful and she's the only thing that makes me truly happy. Whenever Chris asks me to go out with her with my other friends too I refuse by making up some lame excuse but thankfully Chris doesn't push me much because she knows it's no use, I have made myself that way. My other best friends, Marlene, Shauna, Will Lynn, Uriah and Zeke all have supported me and Tobias both. They haven't teamed up or anything about who's siding me and who's siding him. I grateful to them for this because I didn't want our relationship to come in between our friendship. They tried to bring me out but they all have failed because I know that myself that I don't want anything right now.. Other than him.

Tobias on the other hand goes out whenever the gangs does. He's with them all the time. All I know from Marlene is that he has his "Four" face back on. He has started masking his emotions again. "He doesn't enjoy, tris. He's like the person up with his Walls again. He hardly every talks to any of us, he's just there." she said to me, with pity and sadness when I asked how everything is, and by everything she knew I meant Tobias. Her pity and sadness wasn't for me though. It was for him. I hate what we have become but what I hate more is the fact that there is no reason here.

I hardly ever meet anyone and when I think about it, I hate who I have become too but what I hate most is the fact that he did that to me. And I hate him for this. I don't know what kind of hatred it is because I know deep down I still love him.

I feel like screaming so much, I have been doing that a lot now whenever I'm alone, which is most of the time. I want to do something to come out of this! Anything.

My alarm blares loudly indicating that it's time for me to get ready. I get up slowly and stretch, carry out my usual routine and have some cereal for breakfast and leave. I'm wearing a pink flowery top that has it sleeves coming up to elbow and a pink check skirt that reaches my thigh with white flats. I grab my phone and car keys and leave.

I sit in my ML and start driving when suddenly from nowhere Uriah jumps in front me. I press hard on the breaks, the car makes a screeching noise and comes to a halt, thankfully. Boy that was close!

"What the hell do you think you're doing Uriah! You could have died" I shout at him. He just laughs it off as if it's no big deal.

"I trust you, Trissy. You would never kill me" he poses and winks. It makes me smile and shake my head.

"What do you want Uri" I ask through my opened window.

"Can you drop me to work, my car's busted." He says shyly. I laugh, a real laugh and tell him to get in.

"You still work there?" I say in a low voice now that he's sitting next to me. He gives me a nod. He knows my uneasiness. Tobias works there too.

I knew that but now that I'm driving and closing on the building, memories start flooding in. I have com here with Tobias a lot of times. We have shared a lot of hugs and kisses here. But I have to control. How long, Tris? How long will you do this to yourself and your friends. I try to compose my nervous posture and sit comfortably. When we reach I pull up right in front of the building. Uriah gets out of the car giving me a hug across his seat. I give him the best smile I could manage, but my mind still wavers to Tobias who's standing just behind the glass door on right. I don't even look over at him but at Uri who's going towards him to give him a man hug. Tobias catches my eye and I quickly but hesitantly look away and start driving towards the parlour.

That went well. At least it's a start. I plaster a smile on my face when I reach the parlour. It will good for me to try to be happy today, make some improvement. I can't waste my life. But it's easy for me here to be like me, since it's one of the places that calms me. Art is a way for me to escape.

When Tori sees me coming she smiles over at me and reaches over to engulf me in a hug. I hug her back with the same enthusiasm.

"What's up" I say rather cheerily. She furrows her eyebrows together.

"You down with fever?" She puts her hand on my forehead jokingly with mock concern so I swat away her hand playfully.

"Very funny" I say back rolling my eyes. She laughs and I smile along too, just a normal smile. "I just want to..." I fight to find the right words to come and soon say "come out of the shell" I give a small smile that goes away quickly and look down.

"You'll be just fine, Tris. You're so brave." She says and puts her hands on my shoulders reassuringly. She's like a mother to me, a sister and a very close friends who understands me so well. "you are the bravest girl I've ever met. I know it's difficult for you but I'm happy you held up. I'm really proud of you." She let's go off me and moves over to her office and to her desk to retrieve some papers and files.

I wipe away the stray tear that appeared from nowhere and follow her since I know she wanted me to. She looks back at me with a knowing smile and hands me the file she was carrying.

"These are some designs I wanted you to go through and add some of your own too on the spare sheets at the back" she explains cheerily. "Also can you put them on the site since a lot of people have been asking to see some of the designs before coming here to get them done?"

"Sure. I will do that right away" I say smiling the whole time. I love working here, it gets my mind off things I don't want to think about.

She claps her hands together as if she just remembered something big suddenly. "Tris, I forgot to tell you! Do you remember that lady, Ms. Sharolet who came a few months back to get a huge falcon of yours made on her back?" I vaguely remember that lady who seemed very interested in a design of mine which I made a few months ago. I spent a lot of time indulging myself in art after Tobias as it was my only way to get rid of the pain. She saw it somehow and wanted it on her back. It was sorta dark but she liked it anyway. And she payed good for it.

I nod hesitantly she continues "She wants me to tell you that a friend of hers wanted us to put some good paintings, something related to the company. And if they like this they will launch us on 16 more countries! " I nod and smile hugely. This is great. This will help us making it more large and accessible. Also I observe that Tori is doing a lot of hand gestures, I laugh inwardly because she hardly ever does this. "So. I want you to do it"

I drop my smile and look at her with shock but recover once I see her serious face. There is not a hint of joke in them but I only manage a "huh?" This is a huge opportunity. Painting for the company is something that could change my life, literally. It's a worldwide known company and me painting for it will mean that I will will be introduced to the world as an artist internationally.

"Tori I- " I stumble at words but she smiles hugely at and steps closer to me so that she's directly looking into my eyes.

"I know this is big Tris. But trust me, I have thought a lot on this and you are perfect for this. I have utter faith on you and I know you can do this." she says with pure honest and joy. But I'm nervous. I can't mess this up. That would mean the company going down too. Too much pressure and I don't know if I'm ready and if I'll be able to pull this off.

"What if I'm not good enough, Tori." I exclaim, nervous and panic struck. "What if I mess up!?"

"Tris, honey. Calm down and trust me. You are the best candidate for this. It is time to show you to the world" she says with a look that says she won't take a no for an answer.

I calm myself down and nod. This is great. Wow!

"Thank you, Tori. So much" I look at her and give her a big hug. She laughs and pulls back.

"Lots of work to do girl. Chop chop!" She gestures me to start and I laugh along with her. "I'll reveal this on the site and everywhere else. People want to know who's going to do it!" I knit my eyebrows in confusion. How come everyone knows about this and not me.

Tori sees my confusion and says mockingly "you're the only one who lives under a rock now, Trissy."

I roll my eyes playfully and chuckle my way out. As soon as I reach my desk, I'm already swarmed with 'congratulations' and 'best of lucks' from some of my colleagues. Well that was fast. The rest of then smile at me genuinely and some even glare at me. Jealous much?

I drop down my files and start my days work. I have a lot of days for the company logo thing so I'll think of that when my mind is much calmer and at it's best. When I'm halfway through my work, my phone rings and 'Prituri Se Planinata' comes on. I like changing my ringtones from time to time. It's refreshing. I pick it up after I see it's Shauna and before someone gets disturbed and pull it near my ear.

"Hey what's up" I say but realise it's not only her. There is Christina, Will, Marlene, Uriah and Zeke too. Oh and Lynn. No Tobias. I admit I'm a bit disappointed but whatever.

"We just wanted to congratulate you, Trissy on this opportunity!" Marlene exclaims with joy.

"We are so proud of you, girl" Zeke says with same enthusiasm. I thank all of them cheerfully. I ask how do they know and Christina gives the same remark as Tori about living under a rock. And Uriah the great from behind jokes that I live in the building next to his which is definitely not a rock.

Everyone laughs at his lameness but we all know that he just wanted to crack a joke no matter how lame it is.

"We totally got to celebrate this Tris" Christina squeals loudly and everyone cheers too. I groan at them but they all plead and I realise If want to get out of my shell I have to start now so I give in.

Everyone cheers again as obvious. I laugh with them for some more time as they decide where we will meet and who all will come. And obviously Tobias will be there too. So I need to be prepared I guess. Practise so that I don't break down. No don't worry tris. You'll be fine. You're a fighter. Be brave, tris.

Tobias used to say this to me and it's the only thing from him I decide to hold on to. I will be brave and show him that he can't break me. I have to change now for good, it's high time.

I excuse myself from the 'Dauntless' gang and start working again.

After I finish up putting up the designs online I look up to see the time and realise that it's almost 6. I didn't realise how the time passed away so quickly. I look around and see most of the desks empty, only a few people here and there and Tori who sits in her office. I clean up my desk and put up the files on the counter for Tori to look at. I grab a large sandwich and a large cup of coffee from the canteen for a quick meal since I'm starving and make my way for home and what's new is that I have a smile on my face as I sit in my car.

I never thought I would be able to smile again as most of the time I tried to be invisible. Everyone I knew, knew what happened so most of them either snickered at me or pitied me because we had been together for so long that no one had expected it. Some also came to me crying saying that they shipped 'Fourtris' hard and now they are unhappy. It's weird that they fangirled about us.

Anyway as soon as I reach home I drop down on my bed, tired as hell. But with all strength I can muster up, I stand up lazily and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up and change into my night clothes. I go to the kitchen to get a light but healthy snack so that I don't get hungry later.

Since I didn't have anything else to do, I snuggled into my bed and drowned myself to sleep.

-Page Break-

I see Tobias leaning casually on the railing of the bridge. But something's different. When I look at him his eyes say something else. They are not their original dark blue but something near black.

They bore into me and his look changes into something more vulgar and scary. He runs towards me with such hatred that I fall back and his arms raised, ready to attack me.

"TOBIAS" I scream and cover myself with my arms getting ready to feel the pain but it doesn't come. When I unwrap myself I see a hand extended towards me to help me up. I look up and see it's not Tobias. But the boy with mesmerising green eyes from earlier. He's gorgeous.

I take his hands and stand up but instead I'm suddenly falling down a black pit. I scream as the water gushes me down.

"You're useless tris" Tobais voice rings in my ears "I never loved you! You're not worthy of me."

I scream more. I cry as I hear his voice chanting these horrible words and suddenly I jolt up.

I look around, panting heavily. Sunlight peeps in through the curtains lighting up the room. I'm in my apartment. There's no Tobias here. It was a dream.

I take a deep breath and calm myself down. It was a bad dream. I look at my table clock and see that it's only 5:30 in the morning. I know I won't be able to sleep now so I get up to have a run. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth and put on my running attire. I still had two hours before work so I decided to run around the colony.

When I run I try to forget about everything else. Only the noise of my foot thumping against the ground can be heard and light chirping of birds.

But the only thing that's actually bothering me is that why was that boy with the beautiful green eyes in my dream, helping me?

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**Author's note : yep the flashback is still going on. I promise it gets much better and the drama begins soon because next chapter will include tris's party! Also In the next chapter I'm revealing who the boy isssss *wink wink*. I'm really sorry if it's getting boring or confusing and my writing is terrible but I promise it gets better. Thankyou so much for reading. Please review! I don't know you all but I can feel the undeniable connection in between all of us *dramatic background music*. I'll shut up now. I love you all! Hit that shiny review button?**

**~S**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Thankyou so much for all the reviews, favourites and follows :)) important A/N at the end!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DIVERGENT nor any of the Divergent characters, And sadly never will. **

Christina has called me over at her house because as always she wants to dress me up so I'm in my car driving my way to her house. She moved in with Will after June was born. Her home is like my own home as I'm mostly at their place if not at mine or doing something else like running, painting.

I pull up near her building which was not too far actually but I brought my car because I'll be directly leaving for the bar from here after she is done with me.

We decided that we should just meet up at our usual restaurant-bar called 'The Pit' since I wanted only a small get together and also only our gang there. But obviously everyone doesn't always listen to me so Christina has called some of their new friends over whom they met few days back at some party when I was busy crying.

Well how bad can it be? I push the buttons on the elevator, ring the door bell when I reach and soon I'm welcomed by Will who's holding June in his hands.

"I'll be with you in a few minutes, Tris!" I hear Christina shout from the background. Both me and Will shakes his head and I laugh.

"How are you Trissy?" Will asks.

"Never better. But I was dying to meet June again" I say with excitement clear in my voice. I am always very happy around her.

I pull her towards me as Will smiles and hands her over. She's 6 months old now. She crawls but I hardly ever put her down when I'm with her.

I chat with her little more before Christina comes out, her hair wrapped up in a towel and a bath robe around her dress, which obviously I can't see.

"You look great, Chrissy" I say sarcastically and she raises her eyebrows at me. Will chuckles from behind and goes towards Chris to kiss her.

I turn away because of my uncomfortableness around PDA and also it somewhat reminds me of.. Nothing. I won't do this to myself again.

I plaster another smile on my face and start playing hand games with June.

I plant a last kiss on June's forehead as Christina takes her and starts swaying her a bit. I just sit there looking at their small yet perfect family with a familiar feeling in my heart, probably longing.

Chris finally hands her over to Will after kissing her and he takes his daughter in her bedroom whilst talking to her in childish ways.

Before I know I'm being dragged by Christina into her and Will's bedroom. I shout profanities at her due to the sudden impact but she just laughs it off.

When we stop I turn around at her and give her a look.

"I don't want to know where you guys did it Christina" I say crossing my arms. She just stands there shocked, I'm sure she wasn't expecting this because I've never acted like this since a year now. I just smirk.

"Drop the look Chris, I'm just trying to get normal again" I say while rolling my eyes and laughing inwardly at my lame joke earlier.

"I think I'm getting my old Tris back. Just remember not becoming Beatrice in your quest to find your old self" she says laughing. I laugh too, I don't know why though.

She does, God knows what to me and finally hands me my clothes after attacking my face for 45 minutes. I go to bathroom to put them on and once I'm done I finally look at myself.

I'm wearing a long white tube top that reaches just below my lower waist. Also it has blue stripes on it. Then I'm wearing transparent black slacks and black long boots that have very little heels, thankfully.

I feel a bit uncomfortable but whatever. It's Christina and she knows what's she's doing. I move out and watch Chris as she gets herself ready now. She has her black brownish hair flowing down her shoulders and she's wearing a green cropped top with skinny jeans. She looks fab as always.

When she turns around after finishing up with herself she smiles from ear to ear.

"You look so beautiful, Trissy" she exclaims. She hands me a leather jacket and I put it on. It comes down till my upper waist and it's sleeves come down just above my elbow. It perfectly completes the look.

"Thankyou so much, Christina" I say, thanking her for everything and not just this. She smiles and hugs me, careful not to mess up our makeover. Typical Christina. I smile too, I have great friends.

As we walk out I ask her the question I wanted to ask since a long time. "Where does June usually go when you guys go out. Obviously she doesn't go out with you right?" I say concerned.

"Of course she doesn't go with us. Also we have hardly gone out after her. When we mostly do it's the time when Mom wants her over. She has been asking that a lot." She explains. "And then because I and Will are so used to her being around, without her feels so lonely so we decide to hang out. Like today!"

I laugh at her cheerfulness. I guess being a mother does change a hell lot of things.

-Page Break-

"I still don't think it's a good idea Christina" I say for the hundredth time as we file out of the car in the pit's parking lot.

"Tris." She gives me a look and loops her hand with me. "You're worrying too much"

She let's go and moves ahead excitedly with Will next to her. I trail behind them quietly as we reach the entrance.

"Here goes nothing " I mumble under my breath. The bar is just the way I remember, same dim lights, loud bass music, people packed on the dancing floor with drinks and a strong smell of perfume and alcohol.

Maybe I am worrying too much. It's the same.

I follow them as they lead me to our private table where the others are. Just when we are about to reach I stop and examine the area.

It's a sort of a cabin which has curtains around and a large table in middle with couches around it. There's Zeke sitting at the edge, Shauna is sitting on his lap. Then to their left is Tobias.

Opposite to them there is Uriah with Marlene and now the seats next to them is occupied by Christina and will. She looks over at me, urging me to come so I plaster the best smile I could come up with and head towards them.

"There's the girl of the evening" Zeke cheers and everyone congratulates me whilst hugging me. Except Tobias.

"Congrats, Tris. I'm really happy for you." He says stiffly when he comes next to me. I can sense everyone looking at us. I'd be more happy if you hug me, I say to myself. No I wouldn't, remember what he did to you, my other self says. Shut up you both, I say to both my selves.

"Thanks, Four" I say back stiffly as well. I swear I saw him flinch when he heard me say Four but it might be my imagination.

We sit and laugh making stupid jokes. It's hard, considering the fact that Tobias is just a few inches away from me. I sigh and finally look up at him. He looks away almost as quickly, which means he was staring at me. Humph. This is all too awkward.

"Okay riddle this out guys!" Uriah says drawing everyone's attention, including mine.

"How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make him tickle!?" He says proudly as if no one can ever beat him.

"5 times?" Marlene says. Uriah shouts a big no earning a laugh from everyone else. This is so dumb. But I laugh anyway.

"This is stupid, Uri. I don't recall tickling an octopus before! And I'm sure no one here has as well" Chris says amused.

"PANSYCAKE" Uriah shouts nevertheless. I laugh again. I sense someone's eyes on me but shrug it off. I'm here to have fun, not to get involved in some drama.

"Okay so everyone gives up?" He asked rather cheerfully. We all nod and he shouts "TENtickles!" at us.

We both groan and Zeke hits him with his palm on his head. I really am having a good time if we don't include the weird glances shared by me and Tobias. It makes me uncomfortable and at some point sad. I want to be there in his arms holding him and kissing him every now and then. But that's not possible so get over it, Tris.

When I leave to get myself some drink I bump into someone on my way and tumble back but before thankfully before I could hit my butt someone catches me. I've been doing this a lot. Ugh

When I look up I'm caught up with the same mesmerising green eyes as before. He helps me regain my balance and for the first time I examine him closely.

He is utterly gorgeous, tall, his hair is blond with a hint of bronze and he has the most charming smile. I realise I've been staring at him for too long and I hear him say something.

"What?" I ask still dazed. He laughs, his voice is angelic. Shut up Tris. Stop making a fool out of yourself. What is wrong with you?!

"I asked if you're okay?" He says. I laugh too and nod.

"Yeah I'm okay. We should stop meeting like this though." I say. He chuckles and nods.

"I don't mind" he adds. I blush slight and look around to prevent him from seeing it. I doubt he missed it. I see there are more people behind him so I start to walk away but stop when he calls out.

"You're Tris right?" He asks. How does he know me?

"Uh yeah." I say hesitantly. He laughs again, shaking his head.

"We're here to celebrate with you. Christina invited us." He says. Oh so Christina was talking about these guys. Uh huh. This should be good.

"That's great. Come let's go." I alter my path and lead them towards our table.

"By the way. I'm Finnick." He says while giving his perfect charming smile. I smile too and shake his hand.

"And this is Sam and Jake." I say hi to them and they congratulate me. Apparently being assigned for this project is bigger than I thought.

When we reach I draw everyone's attention and tell them we have more people. Everyone meets everyone while I just stand there looking at them. It seems so perfect, but still something is broken inside me. Tobias stands there too. He isn't talking to anyone and it bothers me to look at him like this.

He's doing this to both us.

When we settle down I try getting more familiar with Finnick, who had become my mystery boy. Now that I know him better, he seems a great person and not a player. He doesn't have a girlfriend which is odd considering his charm.

He has a great personality and a nice voice. He loves water. Weird. Anyway, he lives alone in his apartment and works for Marvel, probably a cartoon artist or something but I didn't ask for much details.

He asks me things too, also some things that are way too personal but he senses I don't want to talk about them so he doesn't push. That's one his best qualities you can say.

I laugh when he says something funny and can't help the smile that comes on my face whenever I talk with him. We laugh and talk for quite a long time but then I look up to see how others are doing.

I shouldn't have. Tobias is talking to a girl, someone I don't know and clearly she's flirting with. But he doesn't seem to mind because he's smiling. I feel a hard twinge in my heart and a tear threatens to call but I control. I need to be brave.

"You seem to like him." Finnick says. I jerk my head towards him in confusion.

"Four. You seem to like. You would make a pretty couple." He repeats, in a rather cold voice.

Something inside me triggers and I get up.

"Tris?" He gets up too. "Are you alright? I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you" he voice is pleading but I can't hold any longer. I have to go.

I can't bear seeing Tobias right now so I walk away, more like run. Finnick will probably thinking I'm a stupid, weird girl. Why do I always have to mess up!?

I walk through, more like tumble my way out from the packed people on the dance floor. I know I shouldn't leave yet. So instead I go to bartender and order a glass of cola. I don't want to get drunk again and go through all that shit. I'm messed up enough.

I just sit there and take small sips from my drink and twirl around getting a close look at everything. The people coming and going. The couples who are dancing, occasionally kissing.

I wonder how would it be. To be in the arms of someone I felt safe with again. To be in the arms of Tobias again.

I refuse when boys come and ask me for a dance. I want to dance with someone I feel like dancing with. Not just some random guy.

"Can I have a dance?" Someone from behind me calls, the voice too familiar. I twirl the chair around and see the wait in his eyes.

I look back at my drink and shake my head.

"You break up with me, don't talk to me for a year, you don't explain to me why you did it and know you suddenly want to dance with me. You're unbelievable." I say exasperated

He sits beside and orders a drink for himself. I look over at him and stare into his blue deep eyes that show the same love but different longing and pain in them. But I can be wrong. I'm not an eye reader, or whatever you call them.

"What do you want, Four?" I asked annoyed by his suspenseful silence.

"A dance" he states and shrugs. I groan and twirl away from him so that my back is facing him now.

"Tris, I know you're mad at me for not explaining but I'm not telling you anything because I can't."

I stand up and after a while he does too and we are now facing each other. One of us is angry and other one is soft and pleading. Guess who is who!

"You really think if you tell me this I'll believe you and forgive you" I shout at him. I don't care if half the crowd is looking at us right now. I want to get this over with.

"I know you won't forgive me, Tris. But you won't believe me even if I told you why." I scoff and laugh with disbelief.

After a while, because neither one of us speaks up, I do so. "What do you want from me, Four?" I ask with venom dripping in my voice. He flinches but manage to be firm anyway. Like Four would, not like Tobias would act but I just long for both of them.

"Don't call me that" he says, more like Tobias now. My thoughts suddenly work their way to his brain. Now you understand?

"What should I call you then?" I'm being way too cold and calmer than I thought. I don't know how I am pulling this up without breaking but I'm doing pretty well till now. But every time I look at him, something inside me squeezes shut. I really feel like screaming right now.

"Nothing." He says softly. Too softly and if I wasn't too angry at him, I would have probably broken down by now.

"Why are you doing this? To both of us? " I say, my voice lowers down to a whisper. My voice almost begging, like I'm tired of asking him. I really am.

He steps closer too me. Our faces inches apart and if either of us move, our lips would connect. I want to do it so badly. I want to feel his lips on me again. I crave for his touch. But before anything could happen he steps back.

Way too back now. He stands up straighter as if he just realised something.

"Because I don't want you anymore" his voice is harsh but in way as if he's convincing himself. That's when I lose it. Tears threaten to fall again, it's like reliving that day on the bridge.

This is what I was afraid of, my another nightmare coming true. "You are not good enough for me, Tris"

I run away, as fast as possible. Tears fall down again, increasing with my pace. I don't look back. I probably look like a coward now. All i do is run away.

I knew coming here was a bad idea! I shouldn't have come.

I run until my legs give out and reach what is called the chasm. It's a part of the bar but a bit far off. People don't usually come here at night because its well dangerous. There's water gushing hard just beneath you and there's a possible chance you'll drop into it. And also because people are drunk by this time and coming here would probably mean suicide.

I come here because the loud noise of water calms me, it distracts me and I used to come here with Tobias. We had a secret place between the rocks on my side and we spent our time there together when ever we came here but as a matter of fact I don't go there.

Instead I just sit on the bench nearby and stare at the water in front of me.

I don't know how long it has been since I came here but I know it's been long enough to make my friends suspicious. I hear my phone ring as if on cue and the caller ID reads Marlene.

I pick up the call only because I don't want anyone to worry about me. I don't want to make others miserable too.

"Hey mar" I say, my voice probably sounds as if I ate a cactus for dinner but whatever. I don't really care by now.

"Are you alright, Tris?! We got so worried after we saw you run away from... him" she says carefully with so much concern that it almost breaks me. I don't want them to get hurt. But wait... They saw the whole damn thing?

"I'm fine. I just want to be alone for now. I need to do this on my own." I say softly, making sure I don't sound harsh.

"You don't really have to do this on your own. You have people who love you. Just be careful you don't lose something before it's too late." She says and the line ends.

I sigh and keep my phone down. I know, Mar. I just wish the person I love, loved the most could see that too.

I sense someone sitting down next to me so I get stiff by instinct but relax when I realise it's Finnick.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't know" he says softy. Enough already with people pitying me so much.

I guess I just made my self like that. "You don't need to apologise, Finn. It wasn't your fault. I was the one who ran away remember?" I say trying to lighten the mood a bit.

He smiles at me, almost making me smile too but he reminds me of him. I look away to hide the pain from him and thankfully he doesn't notice.

"I completely understand why you did it Tris" he shrugs and I feel him smiling again after a bit before he adds, "by the way, I like the new nickname."

A small laugh escapes my lips and I look at him. I can't see him properly because of the darkness but his green eyes are still standing out, as if radiating their own light.

His eyes have love, fire and an odd happiness in them but deep down I know there is some pain behind his charming smile.

"You saw everything?" I ask quietly and he nods.

"Apparently everyone did" he says back and I nod too.

"So you must know everything now?"

"Not really everything but enough for me to understand you." His voice is so soothing, it almost relaxes me.

I rest back in the bench, ignoring the uncomfortableness of the hard surface and look at the gushing water again. It moves up, hits a rock and falls down again. I count how many times it hits the rock before it breaks again. It's like life.

The water being the problems. The rock being me. I don't know how many times the water will hit me. I guess I'm already broke. I look at rock as tiny bits of it flows out with water. I wish I would have been the water. Swishing away as if nothing stands in it's path. Not feeling anything as it breaks everything and taking all the small rocks with it.

Will I have to become emotionless now? No. I don't want to do that. That would be like giving away my life. Something as precious as life shouldn't be just thrown away. I just need a better way out and I have to figure this out. But how?

"You need to let go, Tris" Finnick says, as if answering my thoughts but I'm sure he must be thinking something else that made him say that.

"It's not easy" I say with much calmness.

"Who says it would be? But being alone makes it more.. Impossible ." I look at him again. I know he's right. But he probably thinks of it as another teenage break up whereas for me it's way more that just that. I love Tobias, I spent 3 most amazing years of my life with him and I don't know when I'll stop.

And now, he says he doesn't want me. That I'm not good enough. It's not easy to let go.

"Finnick you don't know—"

"I do, Tris." He cuts me off, I don't mind though, I didn't know what to say anyway. "I know how difficult it is. I can see you love him and you have been with him for as long as you can remember. But what happens now? You can't waste your whole life thinking where you went wrong."

I just stare at him, letting all his words sink inside me. He shifts all his weight around, so that he's facing me now. He takes my hand in his, drawing circles in them.

"You're perfect, Tris" he says and I swear my heart skipped a beat.

We just sit there looking at each other for I don't know how long. I wonder what he's thinking of me right now. His eyes look cloudy yet clear at the same time, saying two things at the same time.

I know he's not lying but I don't know why he said that. It's not like he likes me. We just met, well sort of. Maybe he said that to make me feel better.

But why does he care? I pull my hands out of his grip and and spread them on my lap, stating a them. I know I would have hurt him by doing this but I can't let someone in right now. There's no space.

"I'm sorry" I whisper. He seems to understand why I apologised. But he doesn't seem to give up so fast. Why?

I hate it when things don't make sense. It's been happening a lot lately and it's doing is pissing me off!

He feel him moving closer to me so I turn my head around. He has a small smile playing on his lips. I stare at his perfection. But he almost reminds me of him which is what makes me turn away every time.

I feel his hand touch my cheeks, more like caressing them. I think about leaning into them, to tell him that I like it but I stay the way I am, motionless.

He puts a stray hair behind my ears and looks straight into me as he says, "You need to drop the walls down to let people who care enter. Don't lose something before it's too late, Tris"

I sigh, knowing he's right. He plants a kiss on my hair before he pulls back and stands up and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. He chuckles and urges me to stand up to. So I oblige. Because apparently I don't have anything better to do too. And also I'm curious. A lot.

"You need to give me a ride home. The people with whom I came with are already gone, because I told them too since I had to come here." He states, like it was too obvious.

"I'll give you a ride even though in just being blamed for something that wasn't exactly my fault." I chuckle and decide it would be better to head home now anyway before I do something stupid.

We remain silent on most of our ride to his home. But he does speak up when I pull next to his apartment building. It's almost identical to the one in which I'm living in.

"Soooo." He says stretching out the work so. I look at him with hint of amusement. "Can I take you out tomorrow evening?" He seems nervous while asking which makes him even more cute.

Oh God tris, snap out of it, I say to myself. But he's so gorgeous, my other self argues. I mentally slap myself and tell my inner voices, who apparently don't have anything better to do, to shut up.

"Yeah, sure" I say. I'm honestly surprised he asked. Why does he want to go out with me when he can have anyone. I look like a twelve year old for god's sake. I don't understand boys. Or maybe it's just him and Tobias. Ouch, his name hurts.

He seems relieved by my answer, as if he was expecting a no. I know he's confident about himself and his charms but he seems different with me. Like I'm something different. He being so similar to Tobias makes it hell lot of difficult but no he's different in his own pretty ways.

"So I'll pick you up at 2?" He says again, more confident this time. I don't have work tomorrow since it's a Saturday so it's perfect.

"Sounds good." I say back to him smiling and he smiles back before getting out.

Before he disappears i call out to him and he turns around. I get out of the car and go towards him. I hug him.

I don't know why I did it but it felt like I should. He hugs me back tightly and I relax in his arms. They feel so safe, and different. A good different. Warmth surrounds me and I feel so much better. As if it was something I needed.

I pull back slowly and look at him. He has a small content smile as he looks down at me, softness radiating from his eyes. I'm still in his arms, which feels almost perfect.

"Thank you" I say, and I mean it with all my heart. He smiles more and kisses my head. It leaves a tingling feeling and some electricity too.

"See you tomorrow, Tris" he whispers

I nod and walk back to my car and drive away, waving at him when I finally move out of the premises.

All I think of is how and why?

**Author's note: IMPORTANT please read!**

**Okay yeah his name is Finnick. Because for one, in my dream it was Finnick (pretty dumb reason I know) Two, because I really like the name Finnick! (Dumb again but whatever). Third, because according to me the only person who can actually match up with Tobias and make Tris like him, not like really win her over like Tobias did (I'm a hard fourtris shipper), is Finnick Odair. **

**Well Uriah can too (well beaches I love him too) but he's too childish in some ways for when the real story begins.**

**But I'll alter finnick's character here and add something more to him or maybe less but anyway I'll just fit him into the story but no it has nothing to do with The hunger games, I just want to borrow his name and some of his characteristics in this. I don't own anything other than the plot here. And I did imagine Finnick here as Sam Claflin :') 3**

**As a reply to one review, I love Tobias and Tris together and never want them apart but honestly, this story goes far too long and only thing I can assure is that Tris will never stop loving Tobias. Also, these chapters are more like introduction actually. The real story hasn't begun yet and I can't wait for it to begin so that I can reveal the real story now! **

**I want this story to be as entertaining and dramatic as I thought it would be. And I do want Tris to end up with Tobias but somehow finnick here made me love him too so I'll do whatever you guys prefer. Hence, you guys decide wether by the end of the story (which is waaaayyyyy too far right now and anything can happen) whom do you want Tris to have her happily ever after with! Tell me in your reviews :)**

**Also the flashback is still going on, these intro chapters are soon going to end, probably 2 more and then the real story will start and the flashback will end too. Thankyou so much for reading and don't forget to review! They truly make my day. Also please tell me do you really like it, I'm like really scared about this not turning out well because I really like this plot. Thanks again. Lots of love. **

**~S**


	5. Chapter 5

**"And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars."**

**––Across the Universe by Beth Revis**

* * *

I wake up next morning more happy than usual. Thinking about the dreams I had I can't help but smile. I'm not able to recount them though. But somehow I know they were nice.

Also because I didn't wake up screaming, which is different.

Wow this feels so good! I forgot how it felt to wake up without fear and sadness crushing you. It wasn't a nightmare, finally I'm moving on.

I've realised that this has started ever since Finnick came to my life. We have been going out since the last few months and I've grown so close to him.

I told him things that I thought I would have never been able to share with anyone else.

And like other times the only thought on my mind is still of Finnick. This isn't shocking to me, though. I think of him every single day and as day by day I grow closer to Finnick, I grow away from Tobias.

Thinking of Tobias doesn't hurt me anymore, but I still feel the ache in my heart but I know it's growing dull. Looking at him is till hard but feeling Finn beside me calms me and I feel tons better.

We are going out today again and I feel excited for some reason! I feel like something great is going to happen. Nervous too but the excitement overcomes it.

We have made it official, I'm now his girlfriend. I'm happy but at the same time whenever I look at Tobias looking at me with that longing I shatter. I don't want to admit it but, I feel guilty. We go to pubs and clubs to meet, our gang that is. Sometimes Tobias is there, occasionally glaring at Finn. But sometimes he's not. I get worried and curious when he's not, also why he doesn't have a girlfriend yet. I'm pretty sure he left me for another girl. Maybe he doesn't want to disclose yet, making others feel low of him or something. I could care less.

And with much effort I push the thought away, I've plenty of time to think about that.

A sudden urge to look good overcomes me. it's really different from me but he's changing me, I am finally coming out.

I want to look pretty. But even though I look at my most horrific he looks at me like the way always does. Like I'm someone special, like there's no one else.

Back to the feeling of looking good, I know just the right person who would help me. I stumble out of my bed, excited and shake the laziness off. Not to forget that I tumble a bit too. Am so clumsy.

Grabbing the phone from the nightstand, I sit on the couch nearby and dial her number.

Thankfully she picks up just before I was about to hang up. My first guess would be June!

"Hey! Sorry I was with June—" Ha! I was right "—And I heard the call so I sort of made a dash for it." She says panting.

"You're forgiven, Christina" I chuckle and I feel her smile too.

"So what's up!" She returns to her cheerfulness and I feel the warmth in my heart that comes from hearing her that way again.

Even though she gets annoying some times, I am so grateful for her. I don't know where I would be without her, probably sulking about Tobias still with God knows how many bruises, cuts on me. The thought makes me sad again.

Speaking of him reminds me of his words that night and a dull ache cripples me and I can feel my eyes dilute. But no, it has been months and I have Finnick.

"Tris, you okay?" I hear her concerned voice calling me back and I suddenly snap out. I need to focus and forget about it. I need to concentrate on today, I can't let anything, or anyone, for that matter ruin this.

"Yeah. I need you to help me in... Umm... I want you to give me a makeover and help me dress up?" I say but it comes out more of a question I guess .

I hear her choke on something, probably air and a small laugh escapes my lips, I've never said this to Christina before but I guess everything needs to start somewhere.

"Are you down with a fever Tris!?" She asks in mock concern and it sort of makes me smile a bit.

"Shut up. I'm perfectly fine." I murmur. "I'm going out with Finnick this afternoon." I pull away the phone from my hear as Christina squeals loudly and I have to save my eardrums at all cost.

"OMG Tris! I need details!" She squeals again.

"Ya but—"

"Actually I'll ask you when I reach your place!"

"Okay but—" but she cuts me off again. This is getting weird.

"No buts! I am coming over in 40 minutes so get a shower and take a head bath!" She says with excitement and then the call ends. I huff and lean back into my soft couch and relax.

I groan when I remind myself what Christina said and I don't want to face her wrath later. So I lazily get up and get into the washroom. I scrub nicely and wash my damp hair carefully like Christina said, do all the necessities and walk happily towards the kitchen, there's nothing to be happy about the kitchen though. It's the same old kitchen.

I want to have something heavy for breakfast so that I don't get too wild on eating my lunch with Finnick.

I won't be able to handle the weird looks that he'll give me later.

I decide to have pancakes and a bit of cereal after it. That should be heavy enough to keep me full until the right time.

It's almost 11 as I finish up so to pass the time I sit in front of the TV. I keep switching channels but there's nothing great there. I wish I relax some bit more as Christina will be here any moment now.

Then I decide on just watching the already recorded AFVs, I never get bored of them.

Just as I was about to finish the last recording, Christina bursts in without warning and I scare jump and fall on the floor... on my face. She cracks up while I curse myself for giving her one of the spare key. I don't know what was I thinking when I gave her!

"Christina I gave you the spare key so that you use it for an emergency. Not to burst in like that to give me a heart attack!" I say exasperated while dusting off my clothes.

"This WAS an emergency, Tris. Sorry I'm late," she states and starts walking towards my room. "And also for the floor slapping you in the face. Think of it as a punishment for not talking to me these past few months!" She looks back and gives me a smirk while I just stand there and glare at her.

I've not been talking to her because 1) she's been too busy in handling June and her family. 2) I've been trying to stand up on my feet now, but I did use some help from Shauna sometimes. Hehe.

I soon trail behind her and find her sitting on my bed and examining the room. I made a lot changes last months here and Christina had not been to my house in a while which explains why is she's looking around with such curiosity.

I settle down beside her and she gives me a look that says "you have a lot of explaining to do". I sigh loudly. This is gonna take forever.

"Okay." I take a deep breath and start explaining. "After I ran away from Tobias that night kept running and running and somehow ended up near the chasm. Then I mourned about my miserable state and then Marlene called, she asked about me, I told her I'll be fine and she agreed. Then the call ended. " I notice I'm doing a lot of hand gestures but whatever.

"And then when I was just going back to mourning again I felt someone sitting down next to me and it was Finnick. We talked for a while and then he asked for a ride since the people he had come with had already left so I agreed and then we drove off to his house. When we reached he asked me out and I said yes! And we have been going out since the last few months. I'm sorry. I should have tried to contact but I thought you were so busy and also I wanted to do this on my own." I did left the part where I took help from Shauna.

When I was finished I was almost out of breath but somehow still managed to look cheerful. I look up at Christina and she's looking at me with a funny look. Some part being excited, some apologetic, some confused. Hmm, I'll research on that expression.

I did leave out some details but I did it so because that will only lead to some more questions from her and I'm not in a mood to explain that all. I'm too happy for that.

"Umm." I can see her struggling for words as she still tries to sum up what I said. I laugh inwardly thinking what I just said might not even make sense to her, or to anyone.

"For some reason I feel you're not telling me something" she finally begins, "But that's okay. I'll eventually pour them out from you anyway"

I laugh and playfully roll my eyes at her, as I grab her hand and pull her into my dressing room so that she can finally begin with me.

So exciting. Note the sarcasm.

I sit on the stool next to the dressing table and she does all sorts of things to me. We decide to straighten my hair so that takes another half an hour, considering how thick and curly they are.

When we finish with the straightening too I look at myself and I feel satisfied. More than satisfied actually. It's been a year since I've looked this...different and pretty too.

I'm happy about it, about the new feeling. I give her a hug and take the dress that she's holding out and change in the bathroom.

After carefully straightening the dress down and fixing my hair, I ️unlock the door and come out.

Christina gives me a huge smile as she claps loudly. I laugh and twirl around for her dramatically.

"You look amazing, Tris!" She says and gives me an air hug to which I laugh more.

"Thanks Chris. And I think you can hug me properly considering I don't have rash!" I wrap my hands around her tightly, silently thanking her through my actions and she hugs me back with the same lovingness.

-Page Break-

I wait in my living room for Finnick to come, as he said he would be the one to pick me up. Christina left a few minutes ago.

I'm getting nervous now because it's half past 2 now and I start worrying if he'll actually show up. He never gets late for a date. I shouldn't worry though, he's just half hour late.

If he doesn't show up, I don't know how shattered I'll be. I can already feel the thought saddening me and my heart swelling.

Some part of me believes he'll he here any moment now and other is already disappointed and sad.

I don't know which one I should believe, I want to believe the first one but I know that the second one is more dominated. I'm getting insane. I should calm down.

I take a deep breath in but sharply exhale and almost jump out of my seat as I hear the door bell ring. I run towards the door and see him standing behind it on the monitor.

I quickly open it up and there he is. He's wearing a casual blue shirt and jeans which looks perfect on him. He's looking hot.

I shake myself out of the trance and remind myself not to drool as I hear him say something.

"What?" I ask trying to sound as if I wasn't drooling on him just now. Stupid stupid!

He gives a shaky laugh and says "you look great, Tris."

I smile nervously and say, "Thankyou."

"Here's a sorry gift for being late. I got caught up in something." His eyes waver a bit as he hands me a flower, which I have no idea where it came from. I wasn't looking at his hands would explain that.

I take it happily and walk out with him, closing the door behind and we walk into the elevator, together.

-So many page breaks!-

"Soo where are you taking me?" I ask him as we ride to God knows where.

"It's a surprise, Tris. Now, Don't you like surprises." He says mockingly while giving me a cheeky smile to which I return back a cheeky smile too. It makes him laugh and before I know I'm laughing too.

"You know I don't. What if I don't like it" I tease him and for some moment I feel him tense but he covers it up by giving another of his charming smile, to which my heart skips a beat.

"That would crush me, Trissy! I know you won't do that to me." He pouts and I laugh at his silliness.

"So I should PRETEND to like it, even if I don't?" I say while smirking.

He's still smiling but his eyes look sad, I wonder what he's hiding. "You can do that for me. Now, can't you?"

I roll my eyes playfully as I smile hugely. I'm pretty excited actually as we have already reached the outskirts of the city, near the forest area. I know this would be good but I try my best to hide it.

He pulls up the car on a sidewalk and cuts off the engine. None of us move out and I just sit there staring at him in confusion as he stares back at me. This is getting awkwaaard. Why isn't he moving out?!

He finally snaps out, as if he was dazed into something and It makes me shy and blush for some reason but I try to hide it the best way possible.

"Okay umm," He stutters as if he forgot what he was planning to do, "I'll get the basket and you get the blankets."

I look at him funnily, "we are going for picnic?"

He laughs as if I just said something absurd and shakes his head.

"No, Trissy. I'm gonna surprise you, remember? You can't guess." he says as he gives me the cheeky smile like before which makes me smile too. "But that's pretty obvious though since we can't play football with blankets and picnic basket."

I roll my eyes again at this and we get out of the car. I take the blankets he hands me and he takes the basket and then I follow him as we go deep into the woods.

I don't know where's he taking me but I trust him. It'll be nice considering he's putting so much effort into it.

"Wait now," he says and I look around in confusion. We're in the middle of a jungle right now. He puts down the basket and tells me to do the same so I do. He's smiling nervously as he reaches me and covers my eyes with his hand. A smile creeps to my face and I ask him what's going on.

"Don't worry, Tris. I won't let you fall" I love his husky voice, it makes my heart flutter and I feel butterflies in my stomach from anticipation as he leads me somewhere more deep.

I feel the grass beneath start to moisten and a heavy sound surrounds me. I gasp as I realise what it might be.

He let's go of his hands and I slowly let my eyes open.

My breath hitches when I see the sight in front on me. My jaw hangs open. I didn't know that something like this exists here! and I doubt anyone even knows about this, except us.

The water gushes down from the cliff abovewith immense pressure, creating a melodious rhythmic sound. It creates the vapour around and the rainbow too.

The area surrounding it is like a lush green meadow with small white flowers spreading on it's surface. It's just so beautiful.

I look over at Finnick who has a proud grin on his face as he examines my expression. I am just so speechless. I didn't even know a place like this even existed.

"Finnick I-" I try but the words are not coming out. "I'm just- I can't- this is so beautiful!" My voice his full of awe as I look at him.

"I'm so happy you liked it" He says back with so much love that it melts me and I jump at him with such force that we both fall down on the moist ground. We laugh and Surprisingly don't feel embarrassed.

But then I realise I'm on top of him, our bodies are pressed together and our faces are inches apart. My hands are over his and I'm almost straddling him.

I've been with him for a long time but still situations like these still get awkward and silent between us.

Our laughter has subsided almost immediately after he realises this too. But neither of us make a move. I don't want to move away actually as I get lost in his eyes.

We have been smiling and staring at each other for who knows how long. I suddenly start to feel self conscious under his stare so I start tumbling to get up.

He gets the idea apparently and seems to shake himself as he helps me get up, and I help him too.

When we are up and balanced I look around to absorb the surroundings and decide to lay the blanket far from the splashing water so that it doesn't get wet. I then put the basket on it and lay out all the food materials we are going to eat along with the cola cans and water.

"You're just gonna stand there the whole time now, Finn" I tease him when I find him standing there staring at me.

"Uh—yeah I'll be there." He nervously waves his hand through his hair. So adorable! Wait, what?

I didn't just call him adorable. I mean, I do like him but that's just a weird thing to say, or think.

Well that just doesn't make sense.

We sat there and made small talk. I relaxed a bit by laying down and listening to the melodic sound of the water falling after we ate our lunch, that was hamburgers and some other sandwiches.

Which was great.

We are now laying side by side on a rock that's tilted in a way that we have a clear view of the waterfall. Apparently there is a rainbow too!

The sunlight peeks through the canopy above, sometimes reaching us when the clouds move away. Occasionally, because of the wind, the vapour from the waterfall splashes on us which feels refreshing.

It can't get any better.

I feel someone's eyes on me so i turn around and soft green eyes welcome me. I try not to melt into them but it's hard. Like really hard.

"Why are you stating at me?" I ask him nimbly when I finally manage to pull away from his magnetic eyes.

"Because you are beautiful." He says softly, (A/N does it trigger something? ;D) I almost forget how to breath. His words made my heart leap. And I tried with all my strength to not break my mouth into a goofy grin.

"I'm not. I don't know why you think that." I say softly, almost inaudibly. I know it's true. I'm not pretty, I'm not ugly though. Even though Tobias always said I am beautiful but now whatever he ever said feels like a lie, but something in me doesn't want to believe that.

I feel Finnick shifting beside me and from the corner of my eye i see him propped up, facing me o the support of his elbow.

He gently puts his finger on chin and turns me so that I'm facing him too.

"Tris, you underestimate your beauty so much. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. You are strong, brave and always standing up for a cause. You don't ever give up and honestly you are an inspiration to me and at the same time it only makes me love you more." He says ever so gently and a single tear falls down my cheek.

My heart is in my throat and I control myself so that I don't just jump in his arms right now, which I want to do so much.

Wait, did he just say he loves me!?

But before I could contemplate and say anything, suddenly I feel a warm, soft mouth press to mine, and by instinct I get stiff under his touch.

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**Author's note: cliffhanger! Well sort of.**

**Anyway, review and let me know if it sucked or if it didn't, of it was good or bad, suggestions are always appreciated!**

**Thank you so much for all the support. I promise next chapter would be the last flashback!**

**Please review, they make my day and it helps me update a lot faster!**

**Lots of love and wishes!  
~S**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Hullo, my fellow divergents! This chapter would be in Finnick's POV as I got a few PMs saying I should, so there you are. Thanks to all who read, reviewed, followed or favourited my story! And those who suggested too, it all makes me so happy. sorry the chapter's short and I've not been updating too and my writing way sucks (thanks so much to those who said otherwise) but i promise promise promise I'll improve, just keep reading! **

**On with the chapter. **

* * *

'_She closes her eyes, leaving a trail of sorrow. She doesn't know, what I've been hiding it for." _

**Finnick's POV **

I feel Tris stiffen from under my grip on her shoulder instantly after I kissed her.

Her lips felt soft,

Heart broken, I break off the kiss and drop my hands from her shoulders and down to my sides.

Tris must've gotten out of her state of shock because she smiles at me a little bit, and before I knew it she was on her tiptoes, pressing her mouth to mine. Slow and steady at first, her arms wrapped around my neck.

Before I could respond she broke away slightly, as if unsure of herself.

As I looked at her intently with a small contented smile, hers grew wider then and she pressed her mouth to mine again, more harder and more sure than the last kiss.

I kissed Tris back with the same amount of enthusiasm, wanting her closer to me. Wanting to feel the warmth that she radiates whenever I'm near her.

As air leaves my lungs, I slowly pulled away and stare at the beautiful girl in my arms.

A large grin broke out on my face, this causing her to smile back.

"Wow. I had been wanting to do that since a long time" I say to her and she blushes. I hook her chin with my finger and force her too look at me.

"You have no idea what effect you have on me, Tris." Every word I say to her is true. Since the very first day I saw her I wanted to be as close to her as possible.

She somehow made me want her so much and now I'm here, ready to do whatever she wants me to do.

I just want to be with her, no matter what it takes.

I think I'm in love with her.

"Finnick?" Her angelic voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I stare at her dumbfounded.

She laughs her beautiful laugh at that and because it's so contagious I laugh along too.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks sweetly. The goofy grin of mine comes back.

Cheerily I say, "you" and she smiles wider, making me feel much goofier now.

She puts her hands around my neck seductively and says in a husky voice, "What about me?"

Her words make my heart flutter and I use all my power to restrain myself from holding her against my body and kissing her. But damn is it hard.

So I let go and bend down so our lips meet again. They move slowly at first, in proper sync.

But it gets fast, full of hunger and passion sooner than anticipated. And this time neither of us pull back, that is until our lungs scream for air.

Panting, we pull back and for some reason Tris just bursts out laughing. I raise my eyebrows at her but it only makes her laugh harder.

Before I know, I'm laughing along with her and we just stay there, laughing, kissing and talking.

I've heard about the view of the sunset from here, it's not that many people come here at this spot, no one does actually but people do visit the places near, not too far.

"How about watching the sunset?" I suggest as soon as we start getting bored, I don't want her to feel bored. I want this to be as alive as possible.

"There are trees around, genius. There's no way we'll be able to see the sun let alone the sunset" she says with a hint of amusement, like a parent amused over the silliness of her child.

I pull her up with me and take her near the tallest tree there.

"There's always a way" I say smugly and start climbing the tree. When I look down to see her, I chuckle at her dumbfounded face, like she was never expecting this.

But when I look down again after while, I see her getting ready to climb. With a smirk on my face, I continue climbing up, trying to balance myself and making sure to keep my foot on the right path to avoid letting chunk of wood prices falling down, which would probably hit Tris. And though it would be funny watching that, I don't want her getting hurt in any way.

"Scared, Tris?" I shout over my shoulder, as I've almost reached the top. I don't ever underestimate her because I know what she's capable of, but we both love taunting each other, it's what keeps us enthusiastic, "need some help?"

"Never, Finn. You know I can easily beat you." She shouts back and I sense the mock in her words, making me feel proud about my girlfriend. Girlfriend.

I feel so giddy every time I think I have tris as my girlfriend. I never thought that i would find someone like her, that i would find anyone that beautiful. I know she's the one for me. I always did, and the more I get to know her, the more I fall for her.

I feel a nudge on my foot and realise I stopped climbing. Oh.

"Quit hanging around! You can rest when we reach up there." I laugh at her impatience and start climbing again.

"You look tired Tris, too tough for you?" I mock, and knowing Tris, she is probably rolling her eyes right now.

I don't say more because saying anything else now would mean a prank war. It was one of the most tough, yet the most hilarious and fun month of my life. I had played a small prank on tris, I had filled her hairdryer with baby powder when we were having a sleepover at her house, and the next morning her hair and face were all white. I remember laughing for a whole hour while she was standing there, fuming with rage. She said that the game was on and I had accepted the challenge, clearly unaware about what she was capable of at the time.

The next few days and weeks was like world war 3, we were bombing each other with pranks every now and then, at the most unexpected hour. But eventually we agreed on calling it off when we realised that it would start getting nasty soon. I mean for God's sake she almost killed my baby! She put some horrible stinking slimy thing in my Aventador and the next day when I started it up, this back smoke came out of the engine with most horrible stink, it sure didn't damage anything but it did stink like hell for a few days. I would have laughed if it wasn't my baby, but obviously I was completely raged, which meant I did something horrible too and then we decided to stop.

I reach the top and poke my head out of the canopy, the view is breathtaking. But Tris is just below me so I need to find a thick branch that would be safe for us to sit on. I don't want her to wait so I hurriedly look around.

When I find what I'm looking for, I help Tris reaching it, making sure she doesn't step somewhere wrong or fall. That would be a nasty deadly fall.

When I know for sure that she's safe sitting on the branch, I follow the same steps and and sit behind her, making her feel safe, the back of her head pressed against my chest and my arms draped over her.

The view is priceless. The colours mix as the sun slowly but gradually falls down, the horizon creating a blue effect, the sun radiating warm yellow and orange rays.

The lake near reflects the light, creating a net on it's surface, like the water is dancing.

I don't care if my past was dark, and that my future would not be as I had expected, this is what I want. So I push away the thoughts that have been depressing me, whenever Tris is not around. When she is, I try my best to cover up the sadness, it's not too hard, being with her automatically brings the happy thoughts of our impossible future together.

I plant a soft kiss on Tris' head, inhaling her sweet scent and continue enjoying the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen with the company of the most beautiful girl I've ever met.

I just wish.

* * *

**Authors note: Sorry about the crappy writing, forgive me? Aaand yet another apology -I'm so sorry the flashback's not over yet but I promise the next chapter will be the end of it! Also I might rush things now because I just want the story to begin! Please review, they help me a lot and also make me super happy! Love you all dearly, *Virtual hug to all***

**~S**


	7. Chapter 7

6 months later..

**Tris Pov**

I can't believe it's only been six months. Feels like an eternity, a forever. A good forever.

It's been more than a year since Tobias left me. I don't see him anymore. Some say he has transferred to a bigger company. Some say he went back because of financial problems. Even though I want to care less, the curiosity keeps building up and fear consumes me.

A part of me still wants him. And I that part of me still believes he loves me and that he'll come back. It's difficult to push that away, not easy to forget your first true love, folks.

But Finnick has taught me to live again.

It's like I know Finnick as if he's part of me, he is actually.

So.. I guess I should tell Finnick now.

I love Finnick. I love him.

But I don't know how I should tell him. I don't even know if I'm sure. Wait no actually I am. I'm very sure.

I kept feeling this same tingling feeling long before though but now I think I should tell him. What if I don't get a chance later.

It's long since I've felt this way, I don't want this feeling to go now, not ever.

I'm so gonna keep this and I'll do whatever it takes to stay with Finnick. I won't lose him. I can't lose him.

It's too late for backing out, love is not a game. Not for me. If something like that happens to me again I don't know how I will survive. Like literally.

**Finnick's PoV**

I have to tell her before it's too late. She has the right to know why. I won't do it to her like Tobias did. I'm too far now, too far to let go. Losing her would be a torture, it will be worse than pain itself.

But if I tell her I might not see her ever again even though that would be the right thing, the tougher way.

Who said love would be easy anyway? But I wish it was now. I don't want the problems, I don't want fun. I just want her. I want to hear her laugh, bury her sorrows, kiss her, hold her till my last breath.

I want to marry her and have kids that look just like her. I just wish.

But I have to tell her. I can't keep her in the dark. I need to tell her, for both of us.

The words that I write don't come from me, they're coming from my brain and my hand is translating them into words. The tears dissolve slowly into the paper as my hand keeps scribbling them.

My heart is numb, I'm trying to push it out and somehow I'm restraining myself from tearing the page into shreds because all written on it is a lie.

Except the last 2 lines.

After I am finished writing I seal the letter into an envelope and put it in my front pocket.

**Tris POV.**

I am finally going to tell him! The excitement is building up on me and so are the nerves. I know he loves me and I can't wait to tell him I do too!

I will finally feel safe, loved. And the nightmares would go.

I rush to my car and hold the steering in my hands. Taking a deep breath I start the engine and take off for his house.

The large grin doesn't leave my face and my cheeks are hurting now. But I'm just so happy.

I am living my dream.

**Finnick's POV. **

I drop my keys near the manhole in my clumsy attempt to open the car. My hands are shaking, I don't know if I can do this.

_I can't hurt her._

I quickly catch my keys before they could fall further down and unlock my car. Taking a deep breath I start the engine and make my way to Tris' place.

I'm living my nightmare.

**Tris POV**.

My smile doesn't go away, not that I want to. Tears of utter happiness start welling up in my eyes as I think, _I am going to tell him_

**Finnick POV. **

The fear clenches my heart and my throat feels parched, a single tear of sorrow rolls down as I think, _I have to tell her _

**Tris POV**.

_That I love him._

**Finnick POV**.

_That I have to go. _

—End of flashback—

**Tobias pov**

"Hey! Over here!" My friend, Xavier calls me over from the woods. I turn my face around in the direction from where the voice came.

"Excuse me for a second guys. Till then throw some extra punches." I dismiss my initiates and head over to him, where ever he is.

"Where are you Xavier. You know I don't like games." I shout as I duck behind trees to find him. He's always been this cheery and boyish. I remember being absolutely depressed when I reached here, 2 weeks ago but he found me interesting, he said and I quote "I like mysterious and dark people".

I had laughed at that, I had not in months but somehow he made me. It wasn't because of what he said but the way he said it, like he was trying to impress me. He's been my only friend I could trust after I came here.

I miss everyone back home. Home.

Can I call this my home? I doubt that. I miss my friends, But I miss her the most.

I've been missing her since the day I let her go, I hate the fact she hates me. Still loving her, even when she was in someone's else's arms made me sick. I wanted to rip his head off but I didn't want to hurt her.

I wanted her happy and safe.

I had to make sure she was safe before this had happened, before I came here.

"BOO" I hear someone yell from behind me and as an instinct I whip my head around and before realising who it is, I punch the person in the nose.

"What the f—" he shouts and I crack up when I realise it was Xavier.

"You should know better to not to scare me like this, dude" I say in between laughs while he crouches down holding his nose in his hand.

"Not funny, man" he wheezes but it only makes me laugh harder. I clutch my stomach as my laugh slows while he's still crouching down.

When I finally calm down I apologise and then I ask him why he called me here.

He blinks his eye, shakes his head, checks his nose for blood, curses at me, and I roll my eyes in return.

"Did you seriously call me here for this shit?" I ask in my heavy instructor voice, the one I started using after a few days of coming here. It only took a week for me to pass the initiation, it was beyond rules though. But I was a fast learner and they needed some recruits for the position, so they decided to make me the instructor. Other "normal" people, no one's normal here but I like to think otherwise, usually take a month or two to reach my position but whatever.

After everything had happened, I had to focus on something to forget about the pain. The longing, the desire.

The jealousy.

So I turned into this emotionless person with a mask. No one here knows about me, about where I am from, except the authorities of course.

Even though this camp is the reason everything happened, I had to focus on it. So that I could keep everyone else I love safe.

"No" he says rather firmly, "as a mater of fact, I didn't. I was just trying to have fun. Anyways, I called you here because the authorities wanted me to tell you that some one, they didn't reveal the name, you know is coming here within a day. They asked you to be prepared and to avoid any fights."

My mind goes blank, his voice becomes muffled.

There's someone coming here. Someone I know. Someone from my home.

Someone from back in the world I'm running from, someone to remind me. . .of me.

But the worst, someone who knows about me. No. But how!? This isn't possible. I don't remember someone like me there, I would have noticed, right?

It's freaking me out, I'm scared. I'm scared but I shouldn't be, I'm Four not Tobias, Tobias died long ago with Marcus dying as my father, unless of course I met Tris. But that was only for her I became different. Wait that's not the point.

But that ignites something in me.

Hope.

What if it's . . .

**authors note: yep the flashback is finally over and I also gave you something from the camp in Tobias POV! Extra bonus for that maybe?**

**Sorry about the crappy chapter tho, i didn't know how to write it hehe.**

**Please review and make my day?**

**Lots of love and wishes**

**~S**


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